after a long long long long long while

well isn't this just dandy?

after the lights have been put out,

after the spotlights have been turned off,

after the audience has left their seats,

after the people have went back home,

after the crew have packed their bags,

after the hall has lost it's warmth,

i come up.

i come up with a show to put on for them,

for the one once there.

for the audience who shouted for encore.

for the audience who jumped and shouted my name.

i strut on the stage.

i play the loudest when i'm alone.

i scream for attention the minute i lose it.

i run to crowds when left out.

i make myself visible.

i make myself known.

i make myself colourful.

i make myself bold.

i lose myself.

it is history in the making.

or is it history repeating itself.

or am i just lost in the carnal

or does the nearer flame heat me up faster

i want to hide.

i want to go back to my comfort.

i want to shift back to neutral gear.

i want to pull back into warmth and security.

i want status quo.

i am unsure.

i made my choice.

i walked the road.

i chose the other path.

i know what lies in the other path.

i want to fly into surety.

thousands of miles away, close to my heart.

i wish i know.